Editing Helping Military Marriages

"Exactly what do you get if you fall madly in love? You merely get lies, pain, and sorrow..."

At one time, these ideas from a popular song of the 70s mirrored my marriage with Jim. In the first six years right after our wedding, we had moved 4 times, lived from Korea to New York, and had one young child. What we didn't have was a marriage with intimacy or communication.

In the cycle of his career as a newly commissioned officer, Jim was a part of the demands of his work, and I discovered myself investing many days, weeks, and months alone. However we have a sovereign God who knows our needs, reaches to our level of sorrow and pain, and also instructs us how to love again. Through a number of events, The Lord cured our broken hearts and fixed our lives. We determined then we needed to aid military couples have effective, godly marriages.

Military WTR Scholarship Info

After 20 years in the military, 3 overseas assignments (in Korea, Saudi Arabia, and England) and 2 teenagers, Jim retired from the Army. We joined the FamilyLife staff in 1995 and relocated to Little Rock, Arkansas, to start out our new journey as a missionary family.

By 1997 God had been again telling us of our commitment to military couples. We even now had many peers on active duty-military families that lived abroad and who were seeking to FamilyLife to assist them with the unique stresses of military living.

A marriage of two ministries

Again through a series of sovereign activities, God transferred our family to The United Kingdom in 1998. There we started a new "marriage"-this time a relationship between two ministries, FamilyLife and Military Ministry (also part of Cru). We understood God was relocating us overseas to be able to offer FamilyLife resources (now as fulltime personnel with Military Ministry) to the military stationed through Middle East and the Europe.

Some years ago, FamilyLife published a Bible study Jim and I wrote for the HomeBuilders Couples Series known as Defending the Military Marriage. Only God knew how important it would be for military families following the historic, life-changing events of 9/11 attack.

FamilyLife Publishing has now developed a line of items particular to the military that include a HomeBuilders parenting study, many communication cards, and most lately a woman's Bible study called Loving Your Military Man. Military spouses are presently applying this study in Europe, Hawaii, Virginia and other military installations.

Over the past 10 years Jim and I experienced the opportunity of performing FamilyLife Weekend to Remember events such as [http://beef02michel.artician.com/portfolio/Helping-Military-Marriages/ military marriage counseling] for military partners stationed in The Middle East and Europe. We have also triggerred Homebuilders studies and trained Homebuilders leaders.

A weekend break of romance in Cambridge, England

One recent event sponsored by Military Ministry Europe, and supported by FamilyLife, took place in March 2008 in Cambridge, England. Nearly 100 military couples joined this weekend of romance, through which 19 individuals pointed out they prayed and acquired Jesus as Savior, 50 prayed to be filled with the Holy Spirit, and 89 recommitted their marriages to God and themselves to their spouses.

Here are few of many quotes of what God did with this one event:

Husband who accepted Christ (married 7 years): "Before coming here I was on a daily thought pattern of hatred, selfishness and misunderstanding. I honestly did not see us lasting another 6 months. Now I can not imagine my entire life without her again. I don't want it to ever get badly again."

Wife (married nearly 15 years): "We had a very strong and tall wall built [between us], dangling on only by understanding that divorce is not an alternative and God will bring us through. Thank you for helping us refocus and giving us the tools to begin tearing down the wall and moving back towards oneness." Her husband wrote: "Helped us refocus and rededicate our marriage to God and to replace our walls with forgiveness. The conference was a blessing to our marriage."

Wife (married over three years): "This conference is amazing. A great balance of speaking God's love and plan for our marriage, and sharing personal stories while discussing, learning, and growing with my spouse."

FamilyLife has not only impacted U.S forces in Germany, England, and throughout European countries, but international forces, too. We have held Military Marriage conferences and seminars for military husbands and wife in Romania, Bulgaria, Latvia and Ukraine. A chaplain given out 60 copies of the French translation of Defending the Military Marriage at a Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Conference (healing combat trauma) in Congo. This study has been specifically translated into Romanian for use by their military families.